Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Shake It Off...
I'm having a hard time shaking it off.
I'm trying. I am.
I do what I can.
I try.
I do.
It's almost like I'm in a movie about me but I'm about 10 minutes behind and I can't seem to get caught up with the correct orientation of "NOW-ness".
It's like I'm 100 years old.
I bet being 100 will be easier unless I'm really sick or injured.
In any case, I found this to remind me of what to do.
And so it goes...
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the
donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less..
I'm trying. I am.
I do what I can.
I try.
I do.
It's almost like I'm in a movie about me but I'm about 10 minutes behind and I can't seem to get caught up with the correct orientation of "NOW-ness".
It's like I'm 100 years old.
I bet being 100 will be easier unless I'm really sick or injured.
In any case, I found this to remind me of what to do.
And so it goes...
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the
donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.
They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.
Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less..
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
A Card Carrying Member...
Of Costco!
Yes, hello.
I'd been to Costco a few times with friends and it's like a wonderland in there. Everything is huge and a really good price!
So, I saw a deal online to join Costco and today I went to create my membership.
My first solo shopping trip to Costco.
Of course, if you're me, Costco poses some real problems...
How to get your stuff home.
How heavy it is and how much I can carry by myself.
The weather.
The bus.
The bus stops near the Costco so if I can make it back to the bus I'm pretty much home free.
Today was my first trip there and I didn't know they didn't accept credit cards.
F.
So I had to leave some of my desired items there as I didn't have enough cash.
Minor humiliation.
Then I walked my heavy load to the bus stop only to discover that the bus would not be coming today because they were shooting a damn movie.
F.
I had to walk 3 avenues to the bus stop.
Tonight, my shoulder and neck hurt but I have enough pistachios and Swiffer cloths to last me till June!
Yes, hello.
I'd been to Costco a few times with friends and it's like a wonderland in there. Everything is huge and a really good price!
So, I saw a deal online to join Costco and today I went to create my membership.
My first solo shopping trip to Costco.
Of course, if you're me, Costco poses some real problems...
How to get your stuff home.
How heavy it is and how much I can carry by myself.
The weather.
The bus.
The bus stops near the Costco so if I can make it back to the bus I'm pretty much home free.
Today was my first trip there and I didn't know they didn't accept credit cards.
F.
So I had to leave some of my desired items there as I didn't have enough cash.
Minor humiliation.
Then I walked my heavy load to the bus stop only to discover that the bus would not be coming today because they were shooting a damn movie.
F.
I had to walk 3 avenues to the bus stop.
Tonight, my shoulder and neck hurt but I have enough pistachios and Swiffer cloths to last me till June!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Schadenfreude
Life has a way of throwing you in with people who are huge disappointments.
Am I right? Yes, I am.
The saddest thing of all is knowing the pathetic life they lead and the reason for it is all about choices.
The wrong choices made over and over again.
With witnesses and others who suffer the consequences to boot!
Hey I'm not perfect but I know a loser when I see one.
Well, at least I do NOW...
It's best that a loser such as the one I'm thinking of just go back to their teeny tiny redneck life. It has been insignificant and will continue to be so. It's not because I'm saying it, its just because its true. It's probably a good thing to stick with the types of lower class folk that can be just a little lower class than the loser is. It makes 'em feel real good about their own life.
I admit that we both probably feel a bit of schadenfreude. The only difference is that I'm smart enough to know what that word means and well, the loser isn't.
Ah well...
Am I right? Yes, I am.
The saddest thing of all is knowing the pathetic life they lead and the reason for it is all about choices.
The wrong choices made over and over again.
With witnesses and others who suffer the consequences to boot!
Hey I'm not perfect but I know a loser when I see one.
Well, at least I do NOW...
It's best that a loser such as the one I'm thinking of just go back to their teeny tiny redneck life. It has been insignificant and will continue to be so. It's not because I'm saying it, its just because its true. It's probably a good thing to stick with the types of lower class folk that can be just a little lower class than the loser is. It makes 'em feel real good about their own life.
I admit that we both probably feel a bit of schadenfreude. The only difference is that I'm smart enough to know what that word means and well, the loser isn't.
Ah well...
Thursday, January 05, 2012
The Best Part of Waking Up...
is going back to sleep.
Ha ha...that's so funny Debbie!
Um, no, it's true.
Me and my bed are in a very special relationship. One of us almost cannot bear to leave the other.
I know, I know, it's a bit co-dependent but hey I'm nothing if not honest and believe me I'm not nothin'.
My hope is that sooner rather than later the one of us that cannot bear to be away from the other will soon learn to be more independent and will enjoy their time away and will actually look forward to spending time away.
My feeling is that this may be a long way off, Spring thaw perhaps?
Nonetheless, it is what it is.
My bed doesn't have a name or anything but since this relationship is getting pretty serious I should probably know it's name.
Even better, I'll give it a name.
OK, I'm open to suggestions... Go!
Ha ha...that's so funny Debbie!
Um, no, it's true.
Me and my bed are in a very special relationship. One of us almost cannot bear to leave the other.
I know, I know, it's a bit co-dependent but hey I'm nothing if not honest and believe me I'm not nothin'.
My hope is that sooner rather than later the one of us that cannot bear to be away from the other will soon learn to be more independent and will enjoy their time away and will actually look forward to spending time away.
My feeling is that this may be a long way off, Spring thaw perhaps?
Nonetheless, it is what it is.
My bed doesn't have a name or anything but since this relationship is getting pretty serious I should probably know it's name.
Even better, I'll give it a name.
OK, I'm open to suggestions... Go!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
What I've Learned About Cowards
I've recently encountered that not so rare thing known as a colossal coward.
You may ask "How do you know this person was a coward, Debbie?"
Glad you asked...
Wow, where do I even start?
Usually one thinks of a coward as someone sniffly, small, someone afraid of bugs, who is clumsy and maybe has ill fitting clothes.
Me too!
But that person is called Nerdy. Not cowardly.
It turns out that cowards take many forms and shapes.
The way you can tell a coward is by how they act when having to do something that requires emotional maturity and character.
A coward runs away.
A coward lies to themselves.
A coward won't face reality.
A coward won't do the thing that's hard to do.
A coward blames others for the consequences of their choices.
A coward doesn't do the right thing even when they know what the right thing to do is.
Woe is me that I have had to deal with such a creature.
If only cowards wore a sign on their forehead so you'd know which ones they are.
Lucky for me, I now know who the biggest coward is.
Check THAT box!
You may ask "How do you know this person was a coward, Debbie?"
Glad you asked...
Wow, where do I even start?
Usually one thinks of a coward as someone sniffly, small, someone afraid of bugs, who is clumsy and maybe has ill fitting clothes.
Me too!
But that person is called Nerdy. Not cowardly.
It turns out that cowards take many forms and shapes.
The way you can tell a coward is by how they act when having to do something that requires emotional maturity and character.
A coward runs away.
A coward lies to themselves.
A coward won't face reality.
A coward won't do the thing that's hard to do.
A coward blames others for the consequences of their choices.
A coward doesn't do the right thing even when they know what the right thing to do is.
Woe is me that I have had to deal with such a creature.
If only cowards wore a sign on their forehead so you'd know which ones they are.
Lucky for me, I now know who the biggest coward is.
Check THAT box!
Out of Light, Out of Mind
Ah, the lights of Christmas...
Madness!!!!
Let's give a round of applause to whomever decorated this house in Queens.
Seriously.
I get pouty when just one of the lights I'm hanging goes out but when you have such overkill, who would even notice it here!
Maybe that's the answer to everything; if you overdo something, maybe if a tiny bit of it doesn't work you're so overwhelmed by everything else that you don't even notice the part that doesn't work.
Maybe that's why I wear sequins...
And then there are the camels and my dad respectively.
OK, the camel that's behind the seated camel has the most unusual expression on it's face. It's like it's smugly interested and jealous all at the same time.
At least it didn't spit..
Madness!!!!
Let's give a round of applause to whomever decorated this house in Queens.
Seriously.
I get pouty when just one of the lights I'm hanging goes out but when you have such overkill, who would even notice it here!
Maybe that's the answer to everything; if you overdo something, maybe if a tiny bit of it doesn't work you're so overwhelmed by everything else that you don't even notice the part that doesn't work.
Maybe that's why I wear sequins...
And then there are the camels and my dad respectively.
OK, the camel that's behind the seated camel has the most unusual expression on it's face. It's like it's smugly interested and jealous all at the same time.
At least it didn't spit..
Monday, December 12, 2011
Parties & such
I'm lucky in some ways.
In others, not so much.
But tonight I'm lucky that I was invited to a party and at these parties I get to meet interesting people.
Tonight, I was lucky to meet Jackie Martling.
He was at the party I was attending. He was there with his girlfriend. I told him how much I'd enjoyed him on Howard Stern over the years and how nice it was to meet him. We chatted about his Sirius radio show, Jackie's Joke Hunt (say it quick). I was really glad I went up to say hello. Usually I'm too shy to say anything but I've got nothing to lose these days except the blues so why the hell not.
So even though things are bumpy right now, sometimes a fun thing happens and make you glad for a moment.
In others, not so much.
But tonight I'm lucky that I was invited to a party and at these parties I get to meet interesting people.
Tonight, I was lucky to meet Jackie Martling.
He was at the party I was attending. He was there with his girlfriend. I told him how much I'd enjoyed him on Howard Stern over the years and how nice it was to meet him. We chatted about his Sirius radio show, Jackie's Joke Hunt (say it quick). I was really glad I went up to say hello. Usually I'm too shy to say anything but I've got nothing to lose these days except the blues so why the hell not.
So even though things are bumpy right now, sometimes a fun thing happens and make you glad for a moment.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Desperation and Miracles
Hello.
That was awkward.
I'm back.
Moving on...
I wonder if miracles appear only in the face of desperation.
If you even believe in miracles at all.
I don't think I've used the word miracle in my life to describe a saving grace or action that was put into effect toward me or that I benefitted from. I've certainly never referred to anything as a miracle in my own life.
A blessing, yes.
Miracle? No.
This makes me wonder if I need to be desperate in order to need/see/have a miracle?
But then it means I'd actually NEED to be desperate in order to have a miracle.
To me, a miracle is sooooo outside of me and my realm of power and ability. It's holy. It's religious. It's heaven sent. It's asked for. It's needed. Maybe even required! But not something I could create or make happen myself.
So, without knowing for sure if I'm desperate or not, or if I need it or not; I'm asking for a miracle.
I don't need to see Jesus in my toast tomorrow morning or see a double rainbow but something. I need something.
I'm not looking for something awful like a rough story of the Monkey's Paw or Gift of the Magi, but something helpful, clear and real.
Message: Sent.
Message Received: ?
We'll see.
That was awkward.
I'm back.
Moving on...
I wonder if miracles appear only in the face of desperation.
If you even believe in miracles at all.
I don't think I've used the word miracle in my life to describe a saving grace or action that was put into effect toward me or that I benefitted from. I've certainly never referred to anything as a miracle in my own life.
A blessing, yes.
Miracle? No.
This makes me wonder if I need to be desperate in order to need/see/have a miracle?
But then it means I'd actually NEED to be desperate in order to have a miracle.
To me, a miracle is sooooo outside of me and my realm of power and ability. It's holy. It's religious. It's heaven sent. It's asked for. It's needed. Maybe even required! But not something I could create or make happen myself.
So, without knowing for sure if I'm desperate or not, or if I need it or not; I'm asking for a miracle.
I don't need to see Jesus in my toast tomorrow morning or see a double rainbow but something. I need something.
I'm not looking for something awful like a rough story of the Monkey's Paw or Gift of the Magi, but something helpful, clear and real.
Message: Sent.
Message Received: ?
We'll see.
